I made this junior year. 100% bullshit thought up while we were smoking and completed in 72 hours without a script for Professor Asshat.
I think it’s funny so I’m putting it here. Deal.
Robin Williams died today.
I was getting ready to ride bikes with my sister and her boyfriend when my step-dad shouted from the bedroom.
"Ah! Robin Williams is dead!"
"What?" My voice was shrill. "No."
"It’s coming up on NBC."
Maybe there’s something wrong with me, but I broke down crying immediately. Straight up sobbing. My sister looked at me like I was crazy, but I didn’t care. My first thought was that he had overdosed. Last I had heard, he had entered rehab. But then I found out it was suicide.
Robin Williams had bipolar disorder, just like I do. It struck me while I was cruising my bike on the beach that, considering the time of day when he killed himself, in the several hours leading up to that decision, both he and I were struggling. Obviously, there is no comparison. I was completely sober, dancing around the vacation condo and singing “Come and Get Your Love,” bubbling over with energy and contentment. An hour and a half later, I was curled up on the sofa alone, wiping tears away with a dull, heavy ache in my chest. It happens sometimes. For no reason.
While I was doing that, Robin Williams was suffering from bipolar, too. He also had depression. There’s no way to know what he was going through, but I know very well the confused and desperate feelings you experience when you drop from the mania down into the pit.
I want… I don’t know. I want to give him a long hug. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t exist in this world anymore. Even if he were here, the probability of my being able to do that would be beyond minuscule. But it’s what I feel, strangely. I read that if you hug someone for longer than 20 seconds, it becomes therapeutic in a very deep way. He deserves one million 20-second hugs.
I think I’ll watch What Dreams May Come tonight. Robin Williams plays the main character, and he dies 30 minutes into the movie. The rest is his afterlife. It’s beautiful. One of my favorite films. Then again, so many of my favorite movies are his.
The loneliest people are the kindest.
The saddest people smile the brightest.
All because they do not wish to see
Anyone suffer the way they do.